And so on. I am sure there are lots of things that I have missed out. Some of these things may have been fragile or non-existent within the marriage. That is not the point.

The point is that she had links leading to a central thing (her relationship). Those links are now loose and floating and in need of re-anchoring.

When we learn, a physical change in our mind is seen. Links are physical, structural entities. It takes effort, conscious effort, to rearrange links in our minds. To change the links however, we may have to sort things in the external world.

When we find a new place to live, the links can now adapt to this new reality. We underwent a process of finding and securing a place to live. As we did so it enables the links to switch from our old home to our new one. Those links that were floating now have a place to attach themselves to.

The divorce breaks lots of links in one go. We find ourselves having a lot of things to deal with. At the same time.

Ideally, we would make a list of things to sort out. Then sort them out one by one. However, that is easier said than done.

She may not have viewed this new partner as something temporary. Not consciously anyway. But temporary he is likely to be. He was a help. For that period of time, it tied up some of the loose ends. This made it easier for her to manage all the other loose connections. Less to deal with in one go. Once she has those other loose ends sorted, she can dump the man. He served a purpose.

I used a female as an example. I am in no doubt that the same kind of process would take place with a man dealing with an unexpected breakup.