Patience is key in parenting

Patience

We see a child struggle and jump in to assist. This is a mistake. At bath time we can give our little’un some help getting their clothes off. Or we can stand back and wait patiently whilst they undress themselves. It can seem like an eternity watching them pull, push, twist, and tug at those clothes. It is a real struggle for them to get them off. That eternity is probably just thirty seconds. The next day it is fifteen seconds. Within a week they do it faster by themselves than if you were helping. It pays to be patient.

A father couldn’t do a lot following an accident. His son was not going to do everything for him forever more. This father could not walk, far from it. However, the son goaded him to crawl on his hands and knees, day after day. So began a long journey back to independence. Many an onlooker was scornful of the son’s methods; they saw it as degrading. The son continued this course regardless, ignoring those that considered it humiliating and rather disrespectful. As time passed the father eventually regained use of his legs and was the better for it. Far better than being stuck in a chair day and night, waited on hand and foot. It is tempting to intervene rather than stand back and allow someone to push through the difficulties by themselves. It feels so much quicker to help. It is much quicker in the short term, but in the long term it becomes a drain on everyone.

There are a lot of similarities between children and people that have had injuries. Physiotherapists encourage recovering patients to do things on their own. Moving forward to regain use of the limbs is only possible through perseverance. It is hard to watch and refrain from taking over. The more you get a child doing things for themselves, the more useful and confident they become. Rather than help their child with their homework, some do it all for them. You tell me what they learn from that.

Life revolves around curiosity, boredom, selfishness and reward. The more someone is left to do things for themselves the more reward they feel and the less boredom they suffer. Waiting on people seems kind but it causes boredom. Your patience enables a child or frail adult to feel rewarded when they succeed.

Have patience with a child that turns their head away whilst talking to you. Many children can’t think and look at you at the same time. Their mind is not developed enough to handle those two operations at the same time.