Patience is key in parenting

Patience

We see a child struggle and jump in to assist. This is a mistake. At bath time, we are faced with two options. Either we help the little’un get the clothes off or we wait patiently for them to pull, push, twist, and tug to remove the awkward clothes for themselves. It might mean standing aside for what can seem like an eternity but is probably just thirty seconds. Those that pause for long enough whilst they wrestle with the task recoup that time quite quickly over the coming months.

A father couldn’t do a lot following a bad accident. His son was not going to do everything for him for ever more. This father could not walk, far from it. However, the son goaded him to crawl on his hands and knees, day after day. So began a long journey back to independence. Many an onlooker was scornful of the son’s methods; they saw it as degrading. The son continued this course regardless, ignoring those that considered it humiliating and rather disrespectful. As time passed the father eventually regained use of his legs and was the better for it. Far better than being stuck in a chair day and night, waited on hand and foot. It is tempting to intervene rather than stand back and allow someone to push through the difficulties by themselves. It feels so much quicker to help. In the short term, yes, it is, but in the long term it becomes a drain on everyone.

There are a lot of similarities between children and people that have had injuries. Physiotherapists encourage recovering patients to do things on their own. Moving forward to regain use of the limbs is only possible through perseverance. It is hard to watch and refrain from taking over. The more you get the child doing for themselves, the more they will be able to tackle by themselves throughout their lives. Some people have been known to do school work for their children. What is the point? Is zero marks worse than doing zero work?