Are we supposed to appreciate all the efforts our parents make, appreciate all the sacrifices or do we accept it and instead repay it to the next generation, namely the children of our own? Some follow tradition. As our parents age, we can find ourselves lumbered and pressured to look after them as well as our own children. Not easy. Guilt can rear its ugly head. There are some occasions where parents can manage yet keep calling for assistance. It is not always because they really need any help, but because they want some attention and company.

We don’t give to receive. We give because we want to and if we expect nothing back from our children, we won’t be disappointed. We feel reward when we work for something. Going without to pay for someone’s education is tempting and difficult to fault. Those given a lot may expect more and have the confidence to apply for a highly paid job. The belief that they can aim high can come from our parents or be irrespective of them. If you can afford the amount you give and you are not depriving yourself of the things you and your partner deserve, then why worry. People search for a compromise. Ultimately, a child needs to learn to become independent and the help you give will play a part in this aim. There are always snags in whatever you do.

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