To Mock

I doubt that any person can go through life without being subjected to some sort of teasing one way or another, usually about something that is personal and unique to them. People enjoy making fun of others and in a way, it helps us unite and get to know one another. It can be used to break down barriers and even lead to political change. When it becomes overly personal and too hurtful, we can look for ways to deal with it.

Whilst it is considered good to educate and condemn the bullies, it is extremely worthwhile teaching the victims some practical ways to handle being teased and taunted. The remedy is in being able to reflect and dispel the attack. With practise it is very easy to do. If someone makes a joke about you, then laugh with them, laugh even more than they do. Learn to find it funny yourself and, (a) it won’t hurt, (b) people are much less likely to repeat it.

You can be the most respected adored person on the planet and still be the butt of a joke. You will be liked and respected even more if you can contend with a small amount of humour sent in your direction. Are you going to learn to handle it at school or wait until you are in the workplace? Or are you going to put it off until you pass away? When you laugh along with those mocking you, you feel no pain, no anguish, and no hurt. In a sense, it is like an invisible person that you are laughing at. We find ourselves genuinely seeing the funny side, even though we are the one being made fun of. Some over laugh making it appear false. Laugh as much as you would if laughing about someone else except that it is you that it is aimed at.

To keep people making fun of you, you simply need to show displeasure, show that you hate it and feel distraught. Getting annoyed and signalling upset amplifies their attack. It makes them do it every day and at every opportunity.

Someone once said, “if you are not either, odd, weird, eccentric or strange then you are not normal”. I replied, “you seem to be all four”. I myself am very peculiar in that I am completely normal. We can embrace our characteristics when people point them out. Embracing what makes us, us works better than getting upset by people mocking us.

Rumours can be deployed to deal with constant taunting. Ginger haired lads have a greater girth, not longer, greater girth. They are what you might call, fulfilling. Spread an appropriate rumour to highlight the advantage your notable feature gives you.

Those with an odd name will hear the same joke over and over. Each person that makes the joke, thinks they are the first one to do so. A refined response is used. We can think of a funny retaliation as ammo to reflect the humour back on them. Each reflection will be different for each person and modified according to the situation. I used to get irritated by people saying that I spoke too fast. They would keep asking me to repeat what I had said even though they understood me most of the time. So I would say, “sorry I w i l l s p e a k v e r y s l o o o w l y so that your little mind can keep up.” Bouncing it back in this way turns the tables and the hurt is no longer felt. The provocateur is less likely to make such comments again. It works best when done with a big smile and in a pleasant way. Sit down and consider a reflection for your individual case. Try it out and see how it goes down. Modify it, perfect it and the problem will go away.

People who are under pressure in their work often release their frustration on weaker individuals. Making fun of others and bullying them provides the mechanism to allay their own ineptitude and difficulties. In the main, ignoring them is usually the most effective policy, but where there is little probability of violence many can find a friendly retort to the jokes.

We are “allowed” to make a joke about someone once. The same joke twice if far less funny. A third time is victimising. We have a habit of starting with a bit of a joke and moving towards demonising people. Once is comedy, thrice is torment. Whole groups have been demonised with people referring to them as sewer rats or lower life forms. The disrespectful comments are played on the radio, spread in the news and more and more people begin to characterise a particular group as being one to be gotten rid of. It is not long before a genocide begins with wholesale killings aplenty.

An organisation that is confident in what it stands for will brush off any flak directed at them. Only when it is relentless do they have real cause to whine about it. Some want it both ways. They want to curtail any hint of derision aimed at them. Simultaneously, they use freedoms of expression to push offensive ideas, ideas which would change the fabric of the nation they are in.

Humour

Have you ever finished someone else’s sentence? We predict what people are going to say before they finish their sentence. If they say something that you do not expect, something we did not anticipate, it can be humorous. As a comedian knows all too well, timing is everything. The unexpected part needs to arrive in people’s mind at the exact same time as they arrive at a prediction of what they expected you to say. You must pause to allow them to work out what you might say, then say the unexpected thing. Jokes that you have heard before don’t create much laughter, as you know what is coming next. Good jokes are hard to foresee, they are not predictable. Try some humour in the middle of a serious discussion. People won’t be expecting and most certainly won’t anticipate it.

We can be more receptive to humour in larger audiences; the contagious nature of comedy. Priming, building an atmosphere, lifting the mood with tomfoolery aids the bonding process between people. A good sense of humour is not so much that someone is making others laugh as such, but that they are radiating confidence and holding people’s attention. Those that become the focus of attention are more highly regarded. Humour is a tool to get people to listen. We are competitive animals. Competing for respect, for adoration, for a mating advantage, to improve our social status. Laughing at someone when they fall or spill something on themselves brings people down to earth. Making fun of your date helps not hinders the bonding process, if done right.

Parents often use the tickle reflex mechanism to help bond with their children, even though extensive tickling is known to be torturous. People (adults) were paid handsomely to take part in a tickle torture challenge to see who could endure the most. The challenge was orchestrated by someone that found it sexually arousing.

If you whisper on purpose people will notice and want to know what the secrecy is all about. Fake laughter has a similar effect. It draws attention. You can bug people by laughing to yourself. People care about themselves as always, and fear that you are mocking them. They are relived to find out that our mind has wandered, falling upon an amusing event in the past unrelated to what is going on around them at the time.

Laughter is therapeutic. We warm to those that smile and make us laugh. We may laugh even when we don’t get the joke. It stops us feeling left out. Having a nonplussed face soon after someone has reached the punchline sours the occasion. We can laugh even if we have heard the joke a thousand times. We can laugh even if we don’t find it that funny. Laughing in these situations is friendly. Your enemy will use the bully boy tactic - putting on a distinctive nonplussed bemused face on purpose to limit the duration of all your friend’s laughter. Dissent.

Farting might be seen as disgusting by some, but it can cross boundaries in its ability to make people smirk. Jokes do not always translate very well into other languages. There is not always the same ambiguity and potential to play on words. Nevertheless, there can be a lot of reliance upon unexpected ways of saying things. That person with the floral dress and long wavy hair is pretty…...ugly.