Being down

Sometimes we need a reminder, a visit to someone with a large house all nicely furnished and plenty of trimmings inside and out. Then the bitter pill to swallow; they lost an only child in a road accident and things around them is just material. They know the life the child did have was superb but the ‘what ifs’ the ‘if onlys’ linger, with help to move on not even wanted.

Having a problem free life may sound appealing but being problem free can be a problem in itself. Having something to address and fix can be a part of the reason we want to live. People get a lot from finding a way through all sorts of problems. Find a fix for someone. Make their life easier. Solve a problem that stops them doing things they enjoy. It makes them happy and can bring a tear or two of joy on your own face.

Our mind can seem awry and we jump at the chance to take some pills or gabber with a therapist every Tuesday afternoon for weeks on end. Some, not many, can be afflicted with a tiredness that clouds the whole of the waking day. No matter what change in diet or change in behaviour, the debilitating effect is not alleviated and certainly not by thoughts alone. You may just have to get used to your wild mood swings and come to a realisation that we are all different, we were never meant to be like what everyone else appears to be.

Are you drawn more to those that are miserable or those that have a smile on their face? Like laughter, smiling is contagious. Most people will smile back at you and you can at least gauge their sincerity. Few of us can say “hello” in 200 languages but smiling crosses all boundaries. I think we need to be reminded about how great it is to smile. (Have you spotted the hidden should?)

Some will point out that if you spend too much time around depressed people you become down yourself. Many make a proactive choice to steer clear, leaving these people to dwell in their persistently miserable state on their own. Contact with others invariably proves to be uplifting. I found that it pays to try and try again with people that are down. Unfortunately, there are times where the only way forward ultimately is to provide some space in the hope that they begin to realise that they themselves are driving others away through their negative and pessimistic views on life.

Are you attempting to put on a show, to prove your worth, to justify your birth and demonstrate that the world needs you? The world needs nobody, nobody in particular, just enough fine people to keep things in order.

One trigger that can lead to a spell of feeling down is when we find ourselves unable to get our point across. You try and present logical sensible reasoning, but despite that they don’t want to listen at all. Mr I-know-best appears to have jumped to the wrong conclusion. Whether rightly or wrongly they are dismissive. Is there a solution to that wave of fed-up-ness than comes over you? You may need to ask if that is the sole person that needs to be convinced. It might be worth rechecking what you have to say anyway. Sometimes we present our case and leave it be or wait a while and try another tack. You will encounter the utter arrogant that will never be swayed. Is progress being made elsewhere?

We can be in a situation mired in bureaucracy. It is grim waiting on the slow process of getting your voice heard if not by a jury but by someone that is willing to listen and take heed. Is there something you can do in the meantime?

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