Control of yourself

The root

Something started it. Therefore, something will end it.

Something instilled the phobia; a process can amend it. Something disturbing, disgusting, repugnant has rammed itself inside your mind. A process can alleviate the horror. Something has begun to bother you. Knowing something else will reduce that bother. Something has created a jealousy. Something else will dispel the jealousy. A habit has formed. Something will temper that habit.

Does the root cause matter? Sometimes, sometimes not. Herein lies the difficulty with helping those with issues of the mind. Each of our journeys to this point has been driven by curiosity but the paths we have taken differ wildly. There is no one piece of advice that will work for all. Each process needs to be tailored to the person and problem in hand. Each individual needs an individual solution. However, there is a solution, and the solution will be a combination of the many solutions available.

Some things you can change, some things you can temper, some things are fixed. You can’t change what you prefer. You can’t change what you are sexually attracted to. You can’t transform a psychopath into an empath. You can’t fix a diseased mind by thought processes. If your memory, motor skills and general abilities have been damaged by disease, help with your mentality can only soften the blow.

Mentality processes aid the following: psychological trauma, habits, phobias, obsessions, compulsions, overwhelming thoughts, excessive anxieties, fears, procrastination, sub-optimal behaviours and anything that results from a misconfiguration of the links in your mind. All we do, is change links. Sometimes, a few key links, often vast banks of linked links.

From one incident, trouble brews. One issue adds to another. The links in the mind become a wretched tangle. The mess is phenomenal. The mess requires a lot of untangling. That takes a considerable amount of time. In the meantime, we find ways to cope. We devise ways to lessen our struggles. Finding ways to help us cope with our day-to-day challenges seems like progress. However, finding ways to cope cements a belief that we will always be like we are. We resign. We accept being stuck with our issues. This is a pity for untangling is possible if we truly want to change ourselves. When the want is there, we need to move to the next stage. Belief. Belief that we can untangle our minds. Belief is an imperative. Cope or fix the issue properly. Which do you want.

The root of all evil may lie with just two things, the devil and socialism. However, the root of our problems will not be found in just two possibilities. Sexual assault, physical assault, torture, unfairness, health disablements, arguments, ostracism, superstitions, misguided beliefs. The list is endless. To deal with the root one may reconfigure our beliefs. Or turn the issue on its head. Or reframe how we see it. Or accept our mediocrity. Or campaign to help others. Or embark on a cause. Or do regular charity work. Or get any job. Any job that will shift our focus despite it being far removed from the sort of work we wish to do longer term.

We made need help reframing the way we see things. Bespoke help is required. We may not be able to work it out for ourselves. Ideas seem obvious and simple in hindsight, but we can be plagued by a problem for years before seeing things in a new light. I have given many examples. How to deal with jealousy regarding a former partner. Dealing with the embarrassment of premature ejaculation. Lot of examples that turn things around and help us live better.