Universally admired

The outlandish to the dark horse

Are you an extrovert or an introvert? Have you undergone some phoney test to measure it? Personality tests are ideally suited for entertaining people on their lunch breaks or kept as handy ice breakers to get conversations going. Our introverted-ness/extroverted-ness is not fixed. You can choose to be more introverted. If you work on your confidence, you can become more extroverted. The homogenisation of the masses, people becoming more and more alike, gains traction when parents seek medication for their children to make them more extroverted. This shifts the child away from being true to themselves. There is beauty in diversity and dryness in too much indistinguishability, where all are blended into one mass of uniform sameness.

Some people are quite bold in some circumstances and more reserved in others. We might be shy at work and forward in play. It can be a mistake to assume that people who seem quite quiet standing in front of you are like that elsewhere. We are not one or the other, neither introverted nor extroverted, but somewhere in between the two. Some are comfortable addressing a large crowd yet shy in other situations.

Fitting in can be a challenge, a struggle, a problem at times. Whilst this struggle plays out, we might take heart in the non-judgemental companionship that animals in our care provide. The meaningful bonds that we form with non-human animals can sometime replace the need for human connection entirely. Having said that, for most of us, what evokes the magic in lots of activities is the human element. Those that travel around with their binoculars and cameras bird watching are in principle out to see the birds, but it is discussions about what we have seen and noticed with others that can have the big impact. We learn the tricks of the trade and swap notes. In so much of life it is not always the thing itself, but the human element associated with it that is the draw.

The toughest of the tough hard cases out there were not so unflinching when they were small. They would stay by their mother’s side and venture nervously at first. They would not go too far before running back to her. If she is around, they are bolder. They explore a little then return, gradually becoming more confident. We are braver when we have the support of others. Group dynamics embolden us too. With the support of the group, we gradually strengthen our resolve. That resolve can be enhanced by having lots egging us on. We get the belief that we are doing the right thing from the hints, suggestions, and pressure from others. The right thing for some that is. Usually them.

No one can go through life without looking stupid at times. Laughing at yourself makes it irrelevant. Worrying about embarrassment drags down our confidence. It is so much easier to hide away in your cubbyhole and spiral down retreating further from face-to-face interaction. In most cases there is no actual danger or risk of physical harm just pathos, imagined worry about being thought of as ineligible. Real confidence can take years to acquire and sadly in a few short moments it can be taken away. A great deal of work is required to bring people that have been attacked in some way, back to how they were before.