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To want

It is easy to say we want to change, but real change is only achieved when it is a wholehearted declaration of wanting it. To bring about change, change which we will assume is for the better according to the one with the problem, there has to be an absolute wish for it. Spelling out the steps is a whole different matter to actually doing it. Someone that wants something puts themselves through any reasonable measure to achieve it and will confront each hurdle they face. Failure indicates that they don’t really want to change their ways. Once the serious declaration of wanting to do something about the problem has been made, the battle begins. With the help of people with the relevant expertise, progress is usually quite quick. Even when you seek support from those with experience in your particular problem area, they can’t wave a magic wand, and all comes right. The desire to change has to come from within the person seeking the help.

All of us will experience issues to some degree and it is a mistake to consider any ‘disorder’ to be something you either have or you don’t. There are variations in the presumed severity. Inconsistent decrees are made as to whether it even matters or not. Many will not regard it as a problem, whereas others will see it as the be all and end all. We will each handle it very differently and who decides when the threshold is exceeded to then stick the label on it, provides lots of scope for contention. If you are on the cusp, you might never get a diagnosis and could quite easily consider it normal, something that we live with. You may need to talk to a lot of different people to compare your sensations, urges or feelings to see what is common and what is less so. You cannot test and compare it in the same way as you can measure your running speed or vision. There are no precise markers. No amount of study can put you in someone else's shoes, inside their mind and body to get a true grasp of the comparison of their perspective and yours.

Our perception of ourselves is so different to what we imagine it to be. Cultural differences allow us to stand out and some things never sink in. On occasions, years later, you see in hindsight errors in your ways. What we took as normal then, seem bizarre now.

Quite often there is a magical upside to being ‘abnormal’, a special capability not necessarily a prosaic ability to recall a sequence of playing cards or memorise innumerable facts and figures, something else instead. Many people regarded as geniuses have significant character flaws, act oddly with eccentricity running in parallel to their brilliance. Instead of putting hard work in to learn the skills to operate in a demanding, complex world, people that fall behind are a bit reticent to admit to laziness and reach for a label instead. It is much easier to plump for a supposed clinical reason for being behind or being incapable than putting yourself on a level playing field as the rest.

People learn to read at different rates. In a lot of instances, the major lack of reading practice is the main reason the mix up of letters and words takes place. It is seductive to claim that it is a disability instead.