Modesty

The outlandish to the dark horse

Are you an extrovert or an introvert and have you undergone some phoney test to measure it? A few things need to be borne in mind on this subject. One is that you can choose to be more introverted and build confidence to display more extroverted behaviour. Secondly, those that encourage others to change in this respect are leading the world further down the homogenisation path. As a result, we become more and more alike with less to distinguish ourselves from one another. There is beauty in diversity and dryness in too much indistinguishability, where all are blended into one mass of uniform sameness. Some will be quite bold in some circumstances and more reserved in others. We might be shy at work and forward in play. It can be a mistake to assume that people who seem quite quiet standing in front of you are equally so elsewhere. We are not one or the other, neither introverted or extroverted, but somewhere in between the two with some capable of addressing a large crowd yet shy in other situations. Personality tests are ideally suited for entertaining people on their lunch breaks and are handy ice breakers to get conversations going.

Fitting in can be a challenge, a struggle, a problem at times. Whilst this struggle plays out, we might take heart in the non-judgemental companionship that other animals in our care provide. The meaningful bonds that we form with other animals can sometime replace the need for human connection entirely. We may enjoy bird watching and travel around with our binoculars and cameras. In principle we go for the birds, but it is discussions about what we have seen and noticed with others that has as much impact. We learn the tricks of the trade and swap notes. In so much of life it is not always the thing itself, but the human element associated with it that is the draw.

People have assumed that chucking kids into the pit will toughen them up. This can have the reverse effect. They become stronger with the support of others. We get braver at an early age when in close proximity to our mother figure. With mother about to embolden us we explore more and gain confidence. Group dynamics embolden us too. With the support of the group, we gradually strengthen our resolve. Each person egging us on adds to our belief that we are doing the right thing. A good thing or not so good thing.

No one can go through life without looking stupid at times. Laughing at yourself makes it irrelevant. Worrying about embarrassment drags down our confidence. It is so much easier to hide away in your cubbyhole and spiral down retreating further from face-to-face interaction. In most cases there is no actual danger or risk of physical harm just pathos, imagined worry about being thought of as ineligible. Real confidence can take years to acquire and sadly in a few short moments it can be taken away in those rare occasions when something unpleasant happens. A great deal of work is required to bring people that have been attacked in some way, back to how they were before.