The want of approval

Universally admired

No matter how popular you become, there will always be people at the ready to criticise. Any aspiration of being loved by all is soon dampened by the unexpected stream of negative comments that roll in as your notoriety radiates. Don’t be naïve nor surprised when disgruntlement surfaces. More people know of you, so you become exposed to a wider set of views. If we all liked the same thing, then you could in theory be universally applauded. However, that is not the case. There will be many that are more than willing to home in on what they regard as your negative attributes.

When I come across these people at the fore and see how entertaining they can be, I ask myself what is involved in being like that. I know it is a case of being accommodating, laughing at other people’s jokes, showing a reasonable degree of interest in what others are doing without prejudicial comments. We can provide affirmation, adding to what others are saying rather than being frequently contrary and difficult. Speaking about our own circumstances with clarity, passion without over exuberance. None of which is easy to elucidate, but better understood through careful observation of those that manage it well.

You may watch those that are accessible to a fair degree but will wander off and mingle to avoid over playing it. Unconsciously leaving people wanting more. Adaptability is key once again. It is relevant in popularity as it is in so many other areas of life. You need to switch from being serious some of the time to using comical and cheerful banter depending upon the people you are with. Some people are not interested in downbeat conversations, whereas others want more absorbing discourse.

We find ourselves able to fit in better in some situations than others. We may need to accept that. Deeper dialogue interest me the most. That doesn’t sit well with those that want to stick to brevity, buoyancy, and frivolity. Don’t be fooled, these meaningful conversations stick in people’s mind, they have an impact. Frivolity fades fast. I like to test ideas and propositions on many people to see what objections arise. I would use this ability to mingle with the masses to hear people’s counter arguments. It would not matter who they were, not their age nor work status. To me all views were as relevant. I saw no point in formulating an answer to a question that could not be understood with a bit of effort by the majority. It doesn’t take much for people to pick up the wrong end of the stick and start whacking you with it when they don’t absorb everything that was stated. I also have reservations about coming out with the bleeding obvious, but what may seem obvious to me is not always quite so for others. Some gems were brought to the fore by some remarkably innocent individuals who you would least expect to provide insight. Holes could be filled, and I would be re-armoured for the next victim.

I asked a taxi driver if they had ever done anything altruistic. They ummed and ahhed for a while then admitted that they were not too sure what the word meant. When I explained it, they understood the concept and thought about it for a bit. The driver wasn’t able to provide an instance of altruism on their own part. The same problem arose a week later when I asked someone else the same question. They too didn’t know what it meant. Then the person who was in the taxi with me the week before piped up and said that they didn’t know what it meant either until I explained it. That got me a bit worried, so that night I asked just under thirty people if they could tell me what altruism is. One middle aged soul sat there racking their mind similar to when someone is trying to bring an answer to a quiz question to the fore. Old people, managers, bar staff even a whole table full of dinners could not provide any sort of definition. This was quite a shock to me, a revelation, and I felt that care was needed in any writing; it had to be devoid of too much jargon. Words that I presumed were quite common were not remotely so. We can reduce it a bit and keep the eloquence.