The subject

15. The pinnacle

There are international conversation championships. The winners tend to be those that perpetually interrupt, never make any eye contact or if they do it is an unnerving stare. They only talk about what interests them and add as much irrelevant detail as they can muster. They will even give you precise, complete, directions to get somewhere whether travelling by car or foot, rather than just say it is on the outskirts of Timbuktu. Go past the bridge, take the second, oh hang on, no the third left after the blue house, up the hill for a mile or so…. They will ask you a question and before you get a chance to answer they will resume their thoughts on how your life could be so much better were you to treasure their worldly wisdom. When you locate the tiniest pause and begin to speak, they turn away and look at something else or walk off completely. And the prize? They win the coveted peace – few continue to bother them.

It is not easy to swallow our pride and admit our mistakes, but we can be surprised at how supportive people are when we are open and honest. A strong person doesn’t mind being wrong and can end up revelling in it over time. It is like being the main trunk of a tree holding up all the branches. You can do the exact opposite of some of the things which are proposed in the power seekers armoury and be highly regarded.

People may not like taking advice but they sure as heck like giving it. We can use this as a way in. Not only are people keen to help but I have learnt a lot of shortcuts through asking people for assistance. Unless it is some trade secret, few will be hesitant to offer up words of encouragement and show you things. Friendships can be spawned by it. Likewise, rather than doing someone a favour, get someone to do a favour for you and they like you more, oddly. So long as it is not too much of a pain. Best when it is help that they feel pride in giving. This chapter is a mere rant and would be best cut completely to lower the evangelism level. It has been left in for fun. Admitting that it is opinionated does not excuse it either, but diodes are so abundant. I spent far more time teaching children to read than I ever did teaching them to converse. That was a big mistake.

Being unbelievably bad at conversation on purpose is the counter to pests and unwanted advances. Never point out lies or inconsistencies. Neither agree nor disagree with what they are saying. Keep engagement close to zero. Appear non-vulnerable, by showing that you don’t need any help. Perhaps mention important things you are managing tomorrow. Not just boring but being totally indifferent to the stranger next to you. Make up a half-truth that lets them keep their pride intact. If you resort to a bit of aggression, soften quickly afterwards.