You must read this - or your life is meaningless

Not all of it, surely. Crikey.

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Very shocking indeed. There is sugar being put in cakes.

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No, not because they were getting paid, nor the magnetic attraction of a large tip, but because they have a slot free on Wednesday afternoons.

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Your photos are plain and dull, hers are magical, romantic, and truly wonderful.

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If only I had the time to make some tits.

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Let's turn this into a big story by involving the whole nation in a mindless hunt.

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Pictures adjusted to make celebrities look thinner, free from zits and blemishes. Pictures enhanced, altered and reshaped to impress. I am flabbergasted.

Flatulence, I made my husband sleep in another room? Nope. I lost weight? Nope. I felt so proud of myself? No not that either. I ran out of money? No. Even though I also went organic too, I have 50p left in my purse. What actually happened was that I found out that I am not unique. This was not really an experiment at all as millions have been on a vegetarian diet for a long time.

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Trying the vegetarian lifestyle is too middle of the road, so now on to cutting out all animal produce from my diet and see if that gets more gasps.

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A can not believe that someone has a swimming pool, in their own home. Here we shall exclusively reveal what people. with a bit more cash than you, can flaunt in their perfectly adjusted images of their wonderful only-if-you-win-the-lottery type homes.

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The worst of the worst misuse of this, is the one where you told about a gap in the floorboard. Underneath is a carpet. Under that is a flap. Under that, a hidden space. Inside there is a box. Inside that, another box. Fifteen pages in, you find out that you have been duped into clicking in order to generate untold advertising page views.

Something stands out with all of these items. What is it? What makes us click and read?