Creep

Creep is a clever word to use to describe some men. It is mainly men that get called creeps, rarely women. We want attention from some people, not all. The ones we don't want attention from are often described as creeps. I doubt a handsome, brawny, attractive male would get the creep moniker. It is much more often used on someone we don't find fanciable. It can be given in abundance to those older than the accuser. Those accused of being a creep find the label most irksome. An increasing number yearn for an ideal world that is devoid of so-called creeps. Anyone that we don't like the look would never be in our vicinity. We would live free from any interaction with those that don't meet certain physical standards. It doesn't matter how nice, kind, caring someone is, if they fall foul of certain metrics, we find any interaction creepy. Am I sure it is looks and not behaviour that instils a belief that calling someone a creep is justified? I am sure. As sure as can be.

The use of the word creep/creepy is genius for it connected with dark, dingy, frightening places frequented by ghosts and ghouls. Spider webs, graveyards, eeriness. We also use the term for creeping up on someone, to approach without notice, to stalk unseen. It is a double whammy. A creep is someone that you have to watch out for as they emerge from hiding. They disgust us. They make your skin crawl. They have this effect, even if they come to you with the noblest of intentions. Ironically, they are often the most benign, least dangerous individuals in the room. People that are called creeps may have never harmed a soul. I am sure there are some that have done terrible things, but they will be few and far between. Attractive people are probably much more prone to violence, controlling behaviour and abuse than those we call creeps.

We may call a female a creep, but in western society that is unusual. We need a word that can be used to fight back on equal terms. Maybe rancid will do.

Rancid female: stale, groupthink orientated, disowns those that don't make the grade. Says spiteful things for small rewards. Noxious femfirst, no belief in equality, females first. Uses body language to humiliate and denigrate some, whilst being outwardly decent to others. Gushes about those they believe are approved of by the pack.

The gender wars are charming, are they not. I wonder where the latest trend came from, namely the push for singletopia? People are making a lot of effort to push the singledom is better narrative. Men want peace. People will be happier living on their own. Relationships are not worth the trouble. People are applauding those that go off grid and live isolated. People are suggesting that we can become a better person, complete, whole, particularly if we do it by ourselves, for ourselves. The promotion of singletopia by saying one can grow and be an all-round better person. I, however, believe that one plus one is eleven. One is much more complete with someone. It is hard to avoid growing apart in some relationships, but there is safety in numbers. There is comfort, there is a sense of being more with someone. I hope people are not fooled into believing that singletopia is utopic. It maybe for some, but not most.

Singletopia is aided by dating apps. They are so bad for so many that a large proportion of aspiring daters get disillusioned. We also have an unwritten rule, a new rule, that has quickly made dating apps the only acceptable method of meeting people. Striking up conversations face to face is deemed forbidden with people we do not know. We have laws with good intentions that make dating troublesome - bordering on dangerous. A coupe of ill-judged text messages can land you in a kangaroo court.