Are you clean?

A clean driving licence, a clean sportsman, a clean cut, and clean living. Lots of uses for this word clean. In these cases, they imply something without a blemish, namely no points on the licence, no banned substances in a drug test, a nice precise opening, and a healthy diet - junk food free. But what if you are asked, "are you clean" in the dating world? Clean being someone without any infectious disease. Some people are asked this a lot. They can be somewhat irritated and tired of this line of questioning. Sometimes this is the very first question posed to them. Dirty is an antonym of clean, thus we may believe that they are asking if we are a dirty person. Do they think I am dirty? Maybe asking if they are clean is a type of euphemism, or some common way to pose the question. Maybe there is no intention of marking someone down as dirty. Not clean is this context does not automatically imply you are dirty. I could feel that way though, particularly when rejected because of it.

The individual who brought this to my attention claimed that their level of infection was very low. So low that they pose no real risk of infecting anyone else. Virtually no risk at all, not to anyone that they come in close contact with. Irrespective of the risk, should we be open and upfront about our disposition? Some may prefer to keep quiet about it until they are ready to form a serious relationship with someone. Being coy about this could be viewed as being devious. It might waste people's time if they will back off the minute they find out. A lot of people skirt the facts. They have formed an opinion and won't engage in any discussion on the subject. They rule these people out straight away. However, some are more willing to accept it once they have formed a strong bond with the person in question. Many might be more willing to examine the risks when the chance of a fabulous relationship is on the table.

People feel that they have a right to know under the "where is the harm? " school of thought. If you keep quiet and allow a bond to grow before making an announcement there can be a sense of underhandedness taking place. I suppose a catch-22 can arise. Few will bother to get to know someone in that situation. They feel that it is a means to and end, keep shtum until it becomes necessary and people will get past the issue.

People will briefly peruse someone's' personal profile and jump to the next at the first sight of any deal breaker. People with an infection sit alongside a whole host of people with characteristics that are wanted or are not wanted. We will always be fussy about who we date, sometime less so when the options dwindle. A little game playing and trickery can be a catalyst. However, we get irritated when we are conned outright. The dating game can be one of the most important games we play. We learn very little about it at school, yet it will have the greatest influence on how our life pans out. As we get older, once the fancying subsides, many realise they made a huge error. They chased the wrong thing entirely. If only they dwelled longer on what is important. If only we knew in hindsight.