Pettiness is most helpful

Pettiness

From squabbling over tiny amounts of money to arguing furiously over who’s turn it is. We can all be rather petty at times, but pettiness has a purpose. Pettiness is each party being counsel, jury, and judge in a micro court case drama. Pettiness helps us work out who we are. It gives us a chance to say that I am not a bedraggled underclass pushover. Dignity, respect, justice. We do not want our moral compass twisted. We learn about ourselves through petty arguments. Ultimately, we can be the most impressive when we resolve petty disputes using calm, very calm composed argument. We raise the subject in the hope that we get to explain the logic and rationale behind our position. Selfishness is written all over a petty dispute. Those that soften their position may awaken their co-considerational selfishness and show some kindness. Of course, a petty dispute is riddled with curiosity as we fact find and formulate a rebuttal.

Wisdom is built through incessant reformulation of the links in your head. Petty debates bring lots of those neural links into play. Pettiness is challenging and rewarding. Whilst some petty disputes lead to violence or people falling out, they can also lead to peace and robust friendships. We build connections with people through dogmatic determination to win a petty disagreement. These petty distinctions, these petty ploys, our petty, petty behaviour is never about the money or the thing at the centre but how we want to win and thereby keep our reputation intact. Reputation is one unit of currency in the game of life. The challenges that arise in a petty dispute help us enormously with the bigger disputes that come our way. The benefits they bring depend not so much on the outcome, not so much on whether you win or lose but how well you formulate your argument. Can you compromise if needed. Can you play the longer game if needed. Can you rebuild bridges afterwards. You might prevail in the petty dispute but lose something far more valuable. I bet you can recall most if not all the petty disputes you had over the years and far more distinctly than many agreeable interactions.