Power, control and the desire to be needed

I want to be included. I want to count. I want to be respected. I want to be heard. I want a say. I want to be noticed. Feeling needed, presence felt. I want people to care about me. I want others to know what I have been doing. I want my achievements recognised. I could live alone. I could talk to no one. I could live my life in isolation from all others. I look down at my dog who enjoys my company and relies on me for food. I have to abandon her too if I am to relinquish all sense of power, control and the desire to be needed. Our pets, our parents, our children, our friends and those we work with, wait for us, observe us and communicate with us. Interactions that amplify our sense of existing.

Through abandonment we learn of what it is to count. Once abandoned, we no longer matter as much, if at all, to those we once lived alongside. Through abandonment we relinquish control and have no power over someone as we once had. And they have no power over us either. We are no longer needed. We may think about those we abandon from time to time. We do not necessarily forget those we have abandoned entirely. Something may trigger us to think a little about those we no longer interact with, but their relevance in our lives diminishes.

The moment we have a child we are most needed. Our children need our love, care and attention. We gain a greater sense of purpose. That is until they are able to fend for themselves and fly the nest. When they are gone, there is a chasm of emptiness left behind. The desire to be needed sits aside the desire to control and attain power. The desire to be needed: Missed if not home at a designated hour. Missed if not at work. Needed to drive a vehicle. Needed at the helm of an organisation. Needed to rule the nation. Different extremes, but the same sense of you being needed by others.

You have been controlled throughout your life. Your parents controlled you the best way they could. Your teachers controlled you they best way they could. Religions control people. You will control others too if you can, if you feel the desire. We are controlled through myths and legends. Stories are told to encourage us to abide. We do things without understanding why. Control stems from copying. To learn we copy. A lady cut the ends off her ham before putting it in the oven. She did so because she copied her mother who would cut the ends off. And her mother did this because she copied her mother, the lady’s grandmother. When the lady asked her grandmother why? She found out that it was so that it would fit in the tray she used. So here we have a grandchild accustomed to doing something, copying her mother and grandmother, despite having a bigger dish and it being entirely unnecessary. Control through observance to tradition.

We control to make things safer, more efficient, more orderly. Controlling others is also rather enjoyable. We take pleasure from it, seeing things run how we want them to be run. Some will start a new business so that they have greater control. If we can see an opportunity to improve how a business operates, we need to take control. When in control we can change things to improve profitability and enhance customer service.

People in control make the rules and set the boundaries. Parents will decide what time children will go to bed, and politicians will enact laws to control the populace. Parents decide what their children can and can’t do, politicians keep control to balance freedoms with anarchy. Despite some rules being zany, irrational or illogical, a society with rules works better for most than societies without rules. Control is both a bugbear and a necessity. The ideas behind control will always be tinkered with to adapt to changing circumstances. Nature controls population levels. Humans control one another to keep ideologies in check.

A powerful person is no all-seeing god. There is a limit to power. Whilst you focus your time on one area, other areas become neglected. You can’t have it both ways, power, and control over everything. This gives rise to delegation. People in power delegate. Their skill is providing the motivation and inspiration to those under them. No nation, no sizeable business is built single handedly. Those in charge choose who to employ - often people with better technical skills than them. Decent employees will do their duty and more, show creativity and flourish. They are aided by simple signs of appreciation from those they work for. They don’t need managers standing over them watching their every move. Empower. Micro-manage at your peril.

There is a limit to the reach of your power. Even in the harshest most controlling states, you can’t get into the minds of the daydreamer. Lots are indifferent to you and your actions. They have a love life and care nothing about your projects. They get on with their things and escape, if need be, to the woods or to another state. People have tried to get their tentacles infiltrating into every crevice, into every area imaginable. The lives of the lowly are not left alone. The lowly look forward to the day your reign is over and make do with what they can get away with until then. Our power rises and falls, no one stays in power forever. People’s time comes to an end sooner or later. It is humiliating to be pushed off the stage, ejected, far removed from when you leave with the majority wishing you remain.

In many circles, popularity helps you cement power. Popularity is not the same as being universally liked. Being popular means people listen to you. Popular people get the most attention. People respect those that are popular and assist their rise in power. Someone gets to be the leader when enough accept them as leader. So long as people keep believing in you, you can stay in charge. There is nothing mystical about leadership, just belief and faith we put in the person at the centre.

Presentation is everything. Effective presentation needs to be clear and professional. We believe information far more if it is presented well. How something is presented matters. Little credence is given to the same facts presented poorly. Who presents something matters. Hence, why people will dress to impress too. Qualifications give people belief that they are worthy of instructing others, but qualifications may be a poor substitute for knowledge and experience. We make our own minds up in regards who we believe, though how we are taken in by controlling forces dictates how often we challenge qualified people.

To gain power, one might make every effort to get credited with all the good achievements and remain silent about the not so good. Only do the sacking and reprimanding when you have no one else to do it. Create an image of being masterful at everything. If you choose to do the reverse of all these power tricks, you can become greatly admired rather than greatly grating. One may have to work hard to climb the tree of domination and have people working according to your formula. We seek power in the workplace, the family, the worship halls as it gives us the chance to control. The power makes us feel special. Power satisfies the selfish drive in us. Power makes us count. Power will get us heard. Power makes us feel needed.

How can we counter the over-powerful and depose them? Well, everyone in power has a weakness and a vulnerability. Very few in charge will resist getting involved in unacceptable behaviour of one sort or another. It is the way in. Focus and concentrate the efforts on the most disgusting aspect and you hit all the followers. No followers no power. Print simple posters with key points and place them prominently and pervasively. The more the message is seen, the more people will have greater self- assurance that a challenge is valid. It tears down some doubts. Anonymous dissent may seem weak but when the balance of power on hand is so skewed towards insanity, it is the only way initially.

Every great person is just that, a person. Why we fear the aura around a top snake is strange. Why those in regular close quarters do not bite the head off is equally peculiar. It is as if the one who is instigating hideous acts of violence is protected by a mythical life force that we do not dare trespass upon. All powerful people were born small and feeble. They grow in stature because of our weird reverence.

Some people believe that the truth is being held from them. In some cases, they may be right. However, exaggeration, lies, and preposterous notions are countered by sensible argument. You can reduce the number of wild thoughts people have lingering in their minds by tackling their arguments head on. In the process other people will be listening in and they too will be wondering about the same thing. The nationwide enthusiasm for a viewpoint becomes tempered as a result. You won’t change the opinions of them all, but if you clamp down, they will carry on seeking redress based on ignorance. Those in power benefit from incomplete truths. Politics, science, and information distributors will include what they want to include to support their agenda. Information that runs counter to their claims are held back.

People have this belief that they are right and only their views count. When people become so vigorous in defence of their ideas, they employ a range of tactics to get people to succumb to their standpoint. We control the masses by making some subjects taboo. We disallow debate. Voices are shut down, muted, or drowned out by persistent messaging. It has become dangerous in some nations to voice our opinions. The fear of violence is a greater weapon than the actual deeds themselves. You do not have to kill every single detractor, just hang one from a lamp post and serve it as a warning. Only those that consider their life worthless will continue any struggle. People who make a vocal stand can be dealt with in many ways. Ban them from talking. Put out a torrent of messages that counter theirs. Provide evidence that there are thousands in support of you. Send them a death threat. Shout them down in the street with a simple slogan. Discredit them with some small innocuous fiction that can be turned into fact. Spread the idea far and wide giving people hope and reason while refraining from doing the dirty work. If the idea punches hard enough then dopey comrades will take action on their own, on your behalf.

The masses are implored by a small number of activists to take notice of their grievances. People are adept, clever, and cunning particularly when they make it seem that the whole country is behind them, when most are saying nothing. A protest may have thousands of supporters, tens of thousands even, but in many cases, it is not at all representative of the majority. Those in power must balance the impression the protest is making against the real feeling of anger amongst the wider population and not bend to every appeal.

Allow, approve, block, sway, encourage and govern. Items associated with power. However, beneath the actions of power there is respect and the sense of being in control. Some need the sense of power even if they are not the one that is truly guiding things. A family feud can arise when someone losses that sense of power. One can give people the sense without having to give in to unreasonable demands. A compromise maybe needed, but you can get your way whilst the one in power believes they still have authority. One would give credit to the one in power despite it being you that leads and it being you that drove everyone through the maze. You don’t have to be the one who is praised and recognized, fixing the issue is more important. Make a suggestion to the one with the power and allow them some time to think about it. The one in power will announce the edict and claim responsibility for the idea.

A high percentage of those in power politically, care more for being right in their arguments and swaying as many people as possible than wishing to make changes for the common good. Winning a debate ranks higher than helping the distraught. Facts and figures are easily buried beneath emotive arguments as so many can be conned by linguistic trickery. I am not picking my nose; I am cleaning my nose. This does not smell; it has a distinct aroma. I am discerning rather than fussy. I am not manipulative, I am persuasive. Countless other examples can be found by those in power to slow our reaction - by baffling us. Anything to make it seem decent rather than foul. Find an individual case and make a heart-warming story of how they have had their life transformed so that hundreds of others who are suffering can be brushed aside. Governments make decisions that affects lots of people - the macro scale, but can highlight micro incidents, good minor deeds that they have done to keep themselves in power.

There are a good few that want power to increase their sense of self-worth, to glean attention and feel worthy. They will expend untold energy obtaining power but offer little at the end by way of doing anything useful. People fall for these snakes and get bitten by them, usually when it is too late to stop all their counterproductive actions taking their toll.

In the extreme, there are those with the godly power of deciding who will live and who will die, who will be saved and who will be spared. Those in healthcare face decisions that affect lives. That is an inherent part of the job. Ordinary folk express control when they give to the causes of their choice. You select and determine who will benefit.

Much of what we say is mere rhetoric. We utter words in the hope that we sway the listener towards our way of thinking. We try to convince others that we are right, and they are wrong. We give advice and try to influence others. We do this gleefully. Our achievements don’t count for much unless lots of people know about them. These marvellous things we have done or discovered can be simply for our own self-satisfaction. However, people take great pleasure in broadcasting their findings. Note the big grins on their faces. See the delight they get from spreading a message.

It will always be me, me, me no matter how you try and hide it. Caring about what others do, in how it plays out in how you feel. Everything is about the self, from the self, directed to the self or circling around back to the self. Your contribution, your input, you in the frame, your relevance and your point of view taken from the camera angle in your head. Influence is an expression of power. Beauty is power too. Refusing to talk to someone is power. The self at the centre of it all.

Those who really believe the world revolves around them, the full-on narcissists, do not like being ignored. When you go about your business ignoring them, they raise the ante. They want control over you. They want a reaction. Some salivate over seeing you get angry. Playing it down and detaching yourself is easier said than done.

Micro societies, namely gangs, want respect, acknowledgement, influence, credence and to be taken seriously. They are never smitten when seen backing down. Pride is pleasure. The most powerful power trick of all; being able to swallow your pride. Once you become comfortable with burying your pride, you can have pride in your ability to bury your pride.

Some may pretend to be naïve, allowing others to think they are a bit stupid. Or pretend they are poor. Or pretend they are incapable. Pretend in some way. For this ploy to work, one must keep the pretence going for an extended period of time. Few pretend for long though as they feel the need to put people straight. To show them, to regain pride in themselves. We prove ourselves to people we may never see again. We want to keep our head held high as we retain an image of ourselves in our head. We care about the image of ourselves stored in our head. The temptation to come out with the truth and reveal your position is immense. We revel in that moment of glory and love that moment of attention. It is a small moment of glory though, and it undermines the bigger game you were playing. I suspect spies never get the glory and make do with a little personal satisfaction instead of public acknowledgement of their endeavours. Keeping focus on the long game and the ultimate prize helps you bury your pride today for a substantially bigger reward in the future. Do not worry about what people think here and now. Let them feel superior. Score a goal in the bigger competition instead – later – maybe, maybe not. If not, then you can take pride in your resilience.

There are numerous fungi that appear to take over the bodies of ants. This makes them do bizarre things. Most perish soon after infection. This behaviour manipulation is not reserved for ants alone, populations can have their behaviour manipulated too. Not by fungi but by psychological warfare. It is usually a slow, step by step process. Whether it is a war or a fundamental change in ideology, small numbers press a system on to the masses. Changes are made little by little until a watershed moment and it is too late for the duped to do much about it. The masses may comprise many decent people, but they are immaterial. They don’t count as they largely go along with the master game players. You are viewed as an object, an asset, a thing to be used. There is very little respect for your game of life. Objecting gets you wiped off the game board. Control is obtained through fear. Fear of the consequences of fighting against the crusade. Fear of what they are making you fearful of. We have had fears of one sort of another since we stood up and began walking on two feet. The only change is the nature of that fear. Fear makes us selfish, and selfishness is a primary drive. Fear controls. Fear helps the powerful. Fear makes the powerful appear needed.