Dissent

Dissent takes many of us by surprise. It often comes from someone who doesn’t have many friends. Someone who is prone to falling out with lots of people. They hold a grudge. Forgiveness is out of the question. They feel slighted perhaps or believe you are getting undeserved attention and too much respect - they may feel that they ought to be in your position, they are as talented as you.

Most let people be. We understand that no one is perfect. We admire those that achieve a lot. We do jostle for position but won’t tear someone down simply because we don’t like their views. We debate with them instead and build our own following. A dissenter is a different beast. They take issue with something you said perhaps, or something you have done. Once dissent starts it often builds relentlessly. Dissenters enlist others to help attack you. They will turn anything positive about you into a negative.

If you are known for charity work, they will reframe your good work as something you are doing simply to make yourself look good. To the dissenter your success in life was all luck. Your popularity is misplaced, bought rather than earned. Everything you do shall be seen in a negative light. All positives are viewed with cynicism. It may only be one small thing that sparks dissent. One thing about you that someone doesn’t like. One thing that you said. One thing taken the wrong way. One misinterpretation. That thing will mar all else that you do. From then on, the dissenter questions why you should count more than them. Why listen to you when their views should always take centre stage. When a dissenter is in your presence, they don’t like to see people listening to you. The moment you appear to be getting an audience they will intervene and say this is boring. Saying the topic is boring is a good way to halt the conversation or at least spoil the flow. Whether people are finding it boring or not is beside the point. They don’t want to be seen listening to something that could be viewed as such.

Most won’t pay a great deal of attention to what you do, nor care about what you may or may not have said. Most understand that you may not be a saint but see you as a decent sort. Whilst the majority get on with their lives and continue making pleasantries with you, the dissenter will try and turn people against you. They will sway others in earnest. A true dissenter will make it their life’s work to defame you and make you appear as bad as possible.

The dissenter might decide that giving you a wide berth is not befitting them. Instead, they prefer to stir up maximum trouble, by any means at their disposal. Nothing illegal or dastardly, but endless vocal action. They need to do this without compromising their own position. They will spread half-truths. Never giving the full story as that will do the opposite of what they want to achieve. Those who listen to the full story will see you in a good light.

Any story can be spun to make you seem disingenuous. People can make you appear untrustworthy or make others want to disown you. Not only is the first story people hear believed, but it is invariably remembered most clearly. Even when the full facts have been uncovered there will be an element of doubt in the air. When a slanderous story is published a number of people will read it. However, not all of them will read any correction or apology printed later. Slander tarnishes our image no matter what. It is nice to be proven innocent, but we have our work cut out trying to dispel the lies. Dissenters know this.

You may have to be secretive, not because of a desire to be sly, but secretive to protect somebody or avoid jeopardising a future event. A dissenter sees this secretiveness as bad form rather than appreciate that you needed to be discreet. Most will be fully understanding when they find out everything that is going on, but you will still be marked out as a cagey type by those that didn’t want to find out more and get all sides of the story.

Dissenters try to dissuade people from talking to you using rational, irrational, emotive arguments - anything they can think off to get people to go along with them. Some won’t accept their line of reasoning, but that doesn't matter so long as the numbers grow. Some people can be swayed quite easily but others will take much more persuasion. A dissenter will keep it going, enlisting the adage of no smoke without fire. They must prevent you from dousing their nonsense with a cold bucket of truth.

A new member of a group can change the dynamic. Some members don’t like the competition. Some prefer the way it was before. This can seed dissent. It matters not one jot if the person whom you are gunning for is a laudable individual. All attributes are switched to negative. It goes further than name calling and derogatory remarks. Having hate in their heart will not bother them in the slightest. Dissenters feed off the reaction to their attack. Simply ignoring it is not always possible. A story is half told, facts distorted, blatant untruths banded about. This can become an irritation. So, we need a solution. Showing annoyance makes it worse.

A look at poker shows us that there are good moves, profitable moves, aggressive moves, passive moves, bluffs. Lots of moves. To each of these moves there are counter moves. In the game of life there will be something you can do too, to counter what people are doing. What should one do to counter a dissenter. One option is to embrace them, have them be your personal troll. Trolls boost your rankings and ratings. All great people will have trolling dissenters, gathering more as their ubiquity rises. Can we maintain our composure. Do we simply put the record straight when it really matters, rather than at every twist and turn. This can be hard, particularly when you do not know who the perpetrator is. If it escalates and turns threatening it is harder still. Take control, respond to the avalanche of vitriol. Reply once a day – only once per day. Ignoring the fool may not work. If we feed them nothing, they get hungry, and the anger levels rise. As days turn into weeks the single daily response melts the snow.

He scored quite low in the physical desirability stakes. He set up a portable piano on the streets and played some music, reasonable music, nothing that would win any awards. He was enjoying himself, nonetheless. One or two people at a time would stop and watch and listen. She on the other hand was dolled up and had a belief that she was quite a bit more desirable than he. Did she watch and give some encouragement? Absolutely not. Why is this ‘oik’ getting attention is what she inferred when she walked over and slammed random keys on the piano, so much so that the piano fell to the floor. She is a classic troll. She wants attention. The mistake we make is to give her far more attention than she deserved by broadcasting her ill behaviour. All publicity is good publicity. Trolls can convert bad publicity into something that helps them gain a little morsel of fame. Refrain from giving them undeserved unearned publicity. Publicity is exactly what they crave. If you are curious as to why she behaved so badly. Re-read what I have just said. There is nothing to be curious about, she and those like her think they should be getting the attention not you. Do not give it to them else they win.

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I gained a few trolls along the way for one simple reason. I told people the truth and they didn’t listen to all that I had to say. They heard the truth but didn’t give me the chance to speak about a solution to their psychological issue. The truth came with a solution which would have been most useful to them. However, they did not like me for it. Hence why many are inclined to tell white lies or keep their mouths shut.