Phobias

Visualisation

A bad memory can stick out ten times more than a good one. Bad memories can be very troublesome. They can haunt us. Thankfully, there is a way to deal with them. Some have triggers. Some just keep playing with no specific cause. If only we can forget things - forget what we do not want to remember. You cannot wipe memories at will. However, you can dampen the horribleness of them to a point where they no longer bother you. Bad memories can be dealt with. Anyone with the right know how can deal with them. To all intents and purposes they become as good as erased.

Memories are nothing more than links. One thing linking to another. Sometimes lots of links making a stronger more pronounced memory. If memories are indeed just links, then it must be possible to change those links. If we change the links a memory will fade. It remains in place for a while but is not linked to anything or if still linked then those links will be weak. To get a memory we don’t want to fade away from our conscious we need only re-route some memory cells.

The fork in the road method is used to quell a bad memory. You create the fork in the road and mentally go down the new road each time the bad memory comes to the fore. The troublesome road in your mind at present will contain a nasty part – the part that causes you the most consternation/anguish. Firstly, create the new road. Think of a sequence that is nice. The sequence can be anything that gives you pleasure, enjoyment, or is simply peaceful. You choose. That sequence needs to be ten to fifteen seconds long. A scenario maybe. A memory of a walk. Something romantic or sexual in nature. Anything that your mind can think about that takes at least ten seconds to complete. When the unwanted memory comes into your mind, switch to this new road. Force yourself to dwell on this new thought path and go through the entire sequence.

The troublesome thought begins, you divert before the nasty part and play out the new sequence at that point. You need do this over and over, 20, 30, 40 times dwelling on the nice thoughts at the end. Whatever the trigger, be it a time of the day, a smell, or the mere mention of a certain word, you run your thoughts down the line and break off to a new imaginary world. Each time it is set off you run it through to this different outcome. Over time the whole escapade fades and you don’t voyage deep into the nicer parts. The triggers don’t have the ill effect anymore. So long as the process is repeated every time, the issue can subside within a matter of days or at worst a month or so depending on the severity.

Some people hate the sight of shit. Confronting some unexpectedly in a toilet can be disturbing. Re-enter the bathroom in your mind and visualise a nice clean flushed pan. Then visualise coming out and meeting a nice person. Take a good look at a clean toilet bowl. Remember it. Visualise it, then dwell on the interaction with the person in any way you see fit. Memories can fade on their own over time, but this process accelerates it considerably. Ugly is replaced with beauty in the thought streams. Injuries are displaced by a picture of a healed-up individual. Repeat these simple diversions every single time the unwanted memory gets your attention. The diversions will eradicate the horrid unwelcome thoughts soon enough. Pick something in life that you like a lot, then dwell upon various aspects of it for a good ten to fifteen seconds each time the bad thought gets your attention. The moment that unwanted thought pops into your head, cast your mind onto the nice though path. Run it through for as long as you can.

You have a body with a mind. That mind is nothing more than a sponge of links. Links that are strong make habit pathways. Good habits; experience. Not so good ones, your potential downfall. You can get rid of bad memories; you can adjust undesirable habits. Change the links, change the behaviour. Rather than thinking, habits may need doing instead. The paths lead somewhere. They lead to reward. On the way to reward we get excitement and expectation of reward. Thus, we change the end point. We need to do all bar receive the reward to curtail the compulsion. No reward, no expectation of reward. No reward at the end leads to disappointment. So, we can use an active disappointment strategy to lessen the temptation of gambling, gaming and drug taking.

When something becomes a destructive aspect of your life instead of an acceptable vice, a less mental and more physical enactment is used. Drug taking involves preparation. During the preparation the excitement and expectation builds. Unpacking, sorting, heating, mixing, and loading a syringe are steps that precede the reward. The addict will be encouraged to go through these steps and stop at the point of injection. They will do this over and over. They will notice their intense feeling of anticipation rise dramatically when doing so. However, as they become accustomed to not receiving the powerful reward, these notions of anticipation diminish a little each time. It dampens the associated feelings of expectancy when they see other users or encounter the drug in their environment. Reminders are everywhere. Reminders that lead the addict through the thought process towards the reward. By taking the end point away those reminders stop being a problem. Quit smoking adverts were shown to be counter productive. They simply reminded smokers that they are due a cigarette. Weaning someone off an addictive substance can work too. Lowering the end point, lowering the reward to a point of no reward.

People have tried a tactic; make them get bored by it. This tends to fail. Gambling addicts have been placed in front of a betting machine for hours on end hoping that the sheer monotony will dissuade them. It doesn’t work. Making them go up to the machine, but not bet, over and over is more productive.

They say you can have too much of a good thing. When we find something is becoming more of a bad habit than a reasonable pleasure, we can begin to worry and consider doing something about it. Some will go too far the other way. Seeing themselves a little unfit they go straight into marathon running rather ditching the car and walking to work instead. If you find yourself doing something to excess, it doesn’t mean you have to give it up completely. Cut back maybe. Be happy. Managing without may need a coping strategy. People find a distraction and allow the time to pass, seeing if they can keep their mind off the issue for an hour at a time. Don’t be fooled though. You can find yourself giving up on so much that life becomes pleasure free. It would be rather annoying if you make every effort to do the right thing, you conform to satisfy those in your circle of influence, you iron out your many defects then get struck by lightning. Killed with everything in place that marked you as a success.