Read your way out of the mess you are in
17th August 2026
After a short chat with a hungry-for-love incel, I mentioned the idea of reading the book, “How to get laid”.
His instant reaction: that was not going to happen. “It is all short form, quick fire content these days. No one has time to read a book.”
That is what he said. Perhaps that is one of the many reasons why he is where he is.
Involuntary celibates, those that would like to have a girlfriend but have failed to get one so far. Not one touch, not one kiss and obviously not one ‘shag’. No deep meaningful lovemaking yet.
Some schools have implemented a no touch policy. This solves one problem and probably creates five others. Is partner dancing now forbidden in these schools I wonder. No hugs, no comforting, no humanity.
If you truly want a girlfriend, then I suspect you would make time to read a book or two. Sticking to short form content hits the reward buttons inside us, repeatedly, but only surface buttons. They do not hit the deeper buttons that are hit when a book is read. If you say that you want a girlfriend or for that matter you are a girl and want a boyfriend, then prove the want. Prove to me that you want a partner. Prove it by reading at least two of the following books.
Dale Carnegie’s, "How to win friends and influence people" is highly recommended. Whilst I disagree about his points on debating, it can transform your interactions with everyone you meet. It was written many decades ago, but everything contained applies today.
The book, ‘How to get laid - David Olson’, is once again useful for boys and girls to read. It rams home the message regarding want. If you truly want something you will jump through untold hoops to get it. The title is a little dramatic and disguises what it is really about. It is less about getting laid and more about finding a partner.
The ignorance paradox might not be the perfect book for an incel to start with. Or maybe it is. It all depends on whether the reader is prepared to pause regularly to think about what is being said. It will help with courage. It will help with belief. It will put lots of things into perspective.
I suspect the path towards getting a partner entails many conversations. Whilst for some that first conversation may need be nothing more than a few sentences, for others you may have to interact quite a bit. Knowing how to interact in the most productive way helps. I sincerely believe so.
Conversation starters
When it comes to conversation starters, there are three primary tacks to choose from. If you are unable to tell me what three tacks exist, then reading up on them will be ‘life changing’. Aka what enables you to get past various conversation barriers. Knowing them will help you connect. Knowing them will help you build something with people.
Avoid tack one. Try tack two first. If tack two fails, try tack three.
As an example, avoid asking needy questions like, “where are you from”, “what is your name”, "how long have you been here”. These come later. Throw out a statement. “What a fabulous beach this is”. To understand how tack three is used, read a damn book or two.
This is a short form article encouraging you to invest time in reading a few books. Most of you won’t. No problem. The more incels there are, the more women there are left for me to spend time with.
I have spoken about different conversation tacks, techniques, methods. I have not spoken about closing the deal. An incel may chat away quite well with all manner of suitors, all manner of attractive women. However, like a salesman one needs to close the deal. If you don’t, they will close the deal with someone else soon enough. What I am saying is that there is a lot to learn. There are many reasons why you are stuck single. You think the reason is that you are not good looking enough. That is only partially true. The other reasons are more important.
If you have a go at looksmaxxing, improving your looks, that might produce results. No weights, no dates. Get some surgery to enhance your jawline, that type of thing. Marvellous. Then you ought to have more confidence. However, you are still a dud inside. More women may want to talk to you, but when you speak, they run a mile.
Think of the 80’s Levi ad. There he was in the launderette in nothing bar his boxer shorts. The jeans in the wash. 99.99% of the women across the whole country were swooning. All was fine until he decided to open his mouth. He released a pop song. It flopped. So too did the desire. From 99.99% to 0.001% in one foul swoop. When you open your looksmaxxed mouth the same thing may happen. Not so if you read up on how to engage with people.
A warrior can hit with a club, bash with a mace or fire from afar with a bow and arrow. What has an incel got to hit with. Nothing much at all. All they can hit you with are silly excuses. Hence, when they do try to hit on women they fail. They need more in their armoury than their competitors. Know-how would give them an edge. Incels however, know far too much about inceldom and little else.
Do incels hate women? Some spend so long within incel forums that a grudge can set in. However, most want a girlfriend, not a fight. Some have a sense of entitlement. Some have experienced a lot of belittlement. Some have spiralled down into self-pity. That is a pity as most incels have a lot to offer a partner. Change who you mix with, and you will undoubtedly change how you get on in life. To get rich, mix with the rich. To get friends, get with sociable people. Mixing with other incels will never get you a girlfriend. Other incels want you in the same boat as them. They will not be pleased if you leave their forums and find success.
Some have suggested that we have gone full circle. Centuries ago, only the wealthy barons and the ruling elite had access to books. Not all could read and write. Now it is only the wealthy barons and ruling elite that seem to be reading books. That is aside from a small minority of bookish folk.
© IgnoranceParadox 2003 - 2026
