Altruism
Selfishness is a drive. A drive that we all have and one that we can’t do without. It can be very selfish when we do harm to others. It can be co-operative. It can be such that we all gain in equal measure. It can be a gain in kind. However, can it be for no gain whatsoever? To do something whereby you get nothing back at all is possible but doesn’t happen very often. It is very rare. It is what we call, altruism. Donating eggs to another woman comes close. Donating a kidney comes close. Giving blood or sperm without receiving payment also approaches altruism. Dying to save the lives of others comes much closer.
Your last act, a desperate act can show altruism. A last act made by a few parents has been to shove a pushchair out of harm’s way. An oncoming vehicle takes the parent out, but their quick thinking saves the child. Some parents have laid down on top of their child to shield them from a hail of bullets. The children have survived to ruminate about the tragedy. A soldier jumped on top of a grenade. This saved three other soldiers that were standing nearby. He threw his rucksack over it and laid on it. It was quick thinking. He survived too. Doing nothing would have meant they all died. I suspect he assumed the worst for himself though. These things happen very fast. It is hard to know what the true thinking behind these actions were at the time. Some have been shot. They know that they have seconds to live before the damage inflicted will fully disable them. They have then taken a last stance, discharging whatever weapon they have on hand to make their life seem a bit more worthwhile. This is the thing with altruism in its purest form. If it leads to your death, you won’t be around to value the deed.
People may not mind admitting that they are not particularly altruistic, but baulk at the idea of being called selfish. They were most likely scolded by their parents to stop being selfish. Share with your brother. Think of others, is what we are told. Yet when we think about what we have been doing today, who was it for? Who did you eat your lunch for? Who got what from all the things you have been involved with? You work to help an organisation and keep customers happy. Nevertheless, you pay close attention to the salary. You care about your involvement. You care about your progress. You help others so that a promotion is more forthcoming. Helping in the business benefits lots of people but you consider how it will help your career too.
When thinking about what drives people, many think money is the answer. Money is reward of course, but we can learn a lot from why people get involved with voluntary work. Here there is clearly no payment as reward. Instead, you gain from the experience, you gain from the feel-good factor of doing something great for others. It keeps boredom at bay for sure too. People can be financially motivated to find ways to increase productivity. However, there are many ways to make people feel valued and make their job seem worthwhile. Some companies will do things for the community. Many will consider the life satisfaction of those working in an organisation. The places people want to work at are not always the ones offering the highest financial pay out. Money can motivate us for sure. There are a lot of things though, that we do, that have not got anything to do with money. We walk our dogs. We mow the lawn and tend to plants. We play games and talk to one another. Lots of things we do make us feel better for doing them. They have an effect on us, on our selfish desire to do, to be and to help. These three core drives have always been in us. We were still driven to thrive before money existed. These base drives are common to all. That means that they are found in every person no matter how young or how old we are.
All the higher-level drives are underpinned by these basic ones. The base drives are those that are applicable to all of us whereas the yearning for sex, money, fame, power, survival etc is more individual. One way to look at it is via the beauty of snowflakes. Each flake is unique. I say unique, you will get the odd near-identical ones in the same way as we have twins or doppelgangers. Each flake is built upon the same bonds between the water molecules. It has a complex name – intra molecular hydrogen bonding. The same bonds, same molecules but a myriad of different shapes. We have the same drives but have vastly different apparent aims. Your aim to write a bestselling book, produce the best film, gain a larger audience, change things, improve society, campaign, or make a dent in the ills of those in need, comes from these basic drives. As does the wish to make our house nicer or our clothes more appealing. As does out desire to jump from an aeroplane, dive in the ocean or spend a weekend hiking. As does making new friends and building relationships. As does masturbating, moulding clay, or meditating.
On the surface it appears kind and generous to give money away to others. Doing so might be applauded. However, there is a selfish aspect to it. We decide. We hold the power to decide where money in our possession goes. Giving money away is never truly altruistic. You get nearer to altruism when you give money to someone else to give away. Even then you feel that it was the right thing to do. You get the sanctification. You can share your wealth and get some feedback that way. If you didn’t feel better when you give, would you give more, the same or a lot less? If you never felt any guilt, would you do as much as you do for others.
Selfishness is not a bad thing. It is pure genius. To think that we can be incredibly generous simply for a rush of chemistry in our minds. It is very clever. If you were to design a new animal species, would you include this feedback loop where the animal feels good about helping others? This feedback loop is not the I help you; you help me in return. It is I help you and feel joy, feel more connected, more at peace with myself.
We may be driven to succeed, to become more experienced and masterful. There are untold drives. There are so many that I could not even begin to list them all. These are all however, powered by deeper drives such as our selfishness that sits at the very bottom. Base drives are ones that everyone feels. Base drives are at the heart of wanting more money, wanting to have sex, wanting to travel and learn new things.
You can have sex for your own gratification, for you alone. You can have sex whereby both parties get something from it. Hence, we consider ourselves and others too at the same time. You can have sex to appease a partner. Thus, it is for you, or for you and someone else, or it is for them but to stop you feeling guilty and keep the relationship alive – which you benefit from. So, it is selfish whatever way you look at it. Selfish in the pure sense or co-considerational selfishness at best. That is one base drive. The gratification, the satisfaction of sex, drives us to go and make it happen. It is rewarding. Reward is another base drive. There is also some exploration involved. Maybe we try with different people, in different places or in different positions. We try, we experiment and search for more. If you think back to your youth, did you spend nights alone imagining what it would be like to have sex? What does it entail? What would the sensual experience be like? And that is of course derived from curiosity – a base drive.
When I say we feel better when we help someone, it is due to a chemical realise that floods our head. We can get this release after a long workout too. We can get this when we solve a problem. We feel it after accomplishing something. One way or another it requires some sort of work. The work may be physical or working to complete a mental challenge. Over the years I have met a lot of people that have stuck to working on menial tasks. Cleaners, road sweepers, factory jobs you name it. Some do suffer from boredom, but one thing is for sure, the work gives them a sense of accomplishment. Many people that collect rubbish on the roadside confess that the job is rather good. They have the camaraderie, the sense of purpose and of course the financial reward. Compare that to those that have spent most of their lives idle. No work leads to frustration and stress. Some can fill their time with meaningful objectives, but they never get the satisfaction that comes with the notion of providing for oneself. Many will do any job to support a family. Again, a rewarding facet of life.
Some work can be arduous and unfulfilling. We may glean some reward, but it leaves us feeling discontented. I liken this to the sex on the beach problem. Sex is usually very gratifying. However, when you get sand in your genitalia it gets sore very quickly. Sex on the beach is akin to an unpleasant job. Have sex on a bed with a view to the beach - change the job and it can be marvellous.
In the past we had places where animals were stored in tiny enclosures for humans to gaze at. These zoos provided the perfect breeding ground for boredom to set in. The animals had no real opportunity to make use of their curiosity. The rewards were minimal in part because all the food they needed was laid on for them. They rarely had to work for it. As for their selfish desires? They could not exercise much in the way of choice; thus, they didn’t have a lot of opportunity to help or hinder. Their autonomy was taken from them. Take away the ability to harness the drives and it leads to despair. Some were seen rubbing themselves against the railings all day. There are proposals to create human zoos; the state gives people just about what they need to survive. It seems like a good idea, but people need work to get reward. The most selfish thing we can do, is to work so that others do not have to. The fortunate ones get to go out and build a career whilst their families are stifled by unrewarding inactivity. You get to solve problems whilst your dependants have the problem of having no problems to enjoy solving.
I went through a period where money was tight. I would mix beans and spaghetti together then add a sprinkling of pepper to reduce the blandness. As years went by my business grew and money came rolling in. It got to a point where it seemed like I was printing money. Easy money. Easy come easy go. On one holiday I felt like a gate crasher. I had this reward for what felt like minimal effort. Some people fall lucky and land a role that they didn’t expect. They feel like they are at a party where someone had invited them in by mistake. It can be an odd feeling. Nevertheless, you soon find yourself working again to justify your presence.
Co-considerational selfishness entails helping others and many like the idea of helping the masses. They may scale the political ranks to get to be the one making the big decisions. Some will exploit their new found power by indulging in the benefits of high office. If you believe that most are there to help us and us alone, you could be living in false hope. They enjoy the process. They have the rewards. They do it as much for themselves as they do it for others. Most are purely selfish. Some do consider what is good for the people but very few sacrifice all what is good in their life to make improvements.
Being thanked for helping is important in this co-considerational selfish system. People will keep helping when they are simply thanked. They want the recognition. It is much harder to consider helping again when the effort you make is thrown back in your face. A nonchalant, begrudging “thanks” will not inspire people to repeat what they have done for you. Money can be provided as a form of thanks. However, the chemical reward is powerful. Making someone feel good for their accomplishments. Praising them and showing them your appreciation. Verbal recognition for people’s efforts counts a lot. This type of repayment is nothing other than something going on in the head of the recipient. A change in flow.
If guilt is a minus, not having any guilt is at least zero. We can therefore do something to avoid that negative disposition. Guilt free is a plus. Whilst we interact with others, we have a physical body that seeks to maintain itself. It must care for itself to survive. It has a system of being rewarded for making the lives of others better. The mind rewards itself when it co-operates. We consider ourselves and others at the same time, albeit subconsciously or automatically on most occasions. It is endlessly, incessantly inquisitive. These drives are at work all the time. Having explained this to many people over the years, few see the implication. One asked if there is anything deeper! No there is nothing deeper for once you look beyond reward, curiosity, and the selfish system you have nothing but basic chemical biology. If you break a snowflake apart, you get water. The magic begins when oxygen and hydrogen come together to form water. It is then that the structure and properties of a snowflake emerge. Oxygen and hydrogen need to be bonded first, that is the deepest point of snowflake study. The drives form a bridge between biology and psychology. They are the deepest part of psychology.
It takes a while to see the connection between these drives and the meaning of life. Give it lots of thought and gradually you become aware of how your actions, decisions, and desires stem from these drives. The things you find compelled to do were related, one way or another, to a basic drive. From there you begin to realise that you are a driven entity. Everything you do, is to satisfy these drives. The drives provide meaning.
You wake in the morning and wonder about the day ahead. Where are my things? How much time have I got to get ready? A look out the window confirms your expectation about the weather. Each of you will have completely different lives, but the same things are making you do what you do.
Some may have no empathy for others whatsoever, these psychopathic types are super-selfish. Those that are empathetic get rewards hidden from a psychopath. A psychopath enjoys the power and control they have over overs, it fulfils their selfish requirements. You may be far removed from a psychopath but that does not mean you avoid being selfish. Not at all, for you may consider others by making breakfast for the whole family and then fill your own stomach for your own self-satisfaction. Whatever you want to make of all this, it is plain to see that it is a mighty clever manifestation that evolution and only evolution could devise. To think that you can be kept happy and content by a range of chemicals that are stashed waiting to be unleashed inside of you.
Is it not remarkable that your whole life revolves around making and moving links in your mind? Gaining knowledge, imparting wisdom on others. What we do has an effect on the world around us, but what happens inside us is the most important. Our emotions make things seem very real. They are derived from changes in the levels of adrenalin, oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and such like. A smooth flowing set of links organised by curiosity make our life seem straighter. We need to keep finding gaps and holes in our understanding. We need to keep finding ways to obtain reward. We must keep wanting to maintain ourselves else we wither and see no meaning in life.
I can only spoon feed you to a certain extent. To grasp the idea of core drives being at the heart of all that you do, you need to experiment. You need to think for yourself about yourself. Stop and think about what you are doing, what you are planning to do and establish what the reason is. Why feed the ducks? Why learn to cook a healthier meal? Isolate the curiosity first. Identify what you get from it. How does it change how you feel? Some rewards are on the micro scale and are short-lived whereas others put a big smile on your face.
These drives are indeed common to all of us in the same way we all depend on food. One could of course be kept alive with intravenous mechanisms. Nevertheless, we require fuel. Food is that fuel and what we consume differs. Some food is more gratifying than others. More rewarding. We eat of course for us, for me, unavoidably selfishly. The parallel between drives and food is this. We all eat, we all have the same basic drives, but the food differs, and the drives lead us in different directions.
The implications of identifying and appreciating what these drives do is most profound. We may look for a purpose, a meaning of life using, of course, curiosity. However, we are looking at it all wrong. It is these drives that give us purpose. Curiosity makes us ask the question and the question is answered in part by it. The drives instil us with belief. Hope is derived from these drives. The reward we will garner is alluring if what we hope manifests itself. We seek ever greater rewards thinking it is mystical, yet it is simple chemistry in your head providing a divine sensation.
You can lie in bed until noon or spring out of it at the crack of dawn and no matter what you suggest it is these three drives that impel you. A sarcastic soul may say they got out of bed to empty their bladder. That too is rewarding and for your benefit. It is change and more comfortable – the pain now gone. At the end of each hard-earned day, we find some reason to find the will to soldier on. We want to know if we can get through this low period of reflection. We want to see if we too can make something of this life we have.
The complete understanding of these drives gives those with this knowledge a significant advantage over everyone else. It is the bedrock of all psychology. The drives lie at the root of all mental issues whether they are considered positive, negative, or neutral. It is also ironic that a psychologist will use curiosity to get to the bottom of the issue that their client has. They will get satisfaction - reward for solving the issue. Co-considerational selfishness is evident in the aspect of helping others.
A scientist is traditionally considered to be curious. They want the reward a new discovery brings. Whether it is for secret pride or to great acclaim it gives them gratification. They win too if the achievements turn out to useful to others. Both the scientist and the benefactors of the new science reap from the spoils of any progress made. An advertising agency will tap into our curiosity first to get our attention. They will attempt to convince you that you have worked hard and deserve a reward. They can aim at your sense of self-worth and make you feel that you are important. Boredom accompanies curiosity hence we may elect to avoid treading the same path too often else people will fall by the wayside in our campaigns. How do we educate? We invoke a child’s inquisitiveness. We give them a small token, perhaps a little sticker on a chart as reward for the effort they put in. We make them feel guilty for not achieving good grades and celebrate success by boosting their self-esteem. The self avoids guilt and enjoys compliments. So, one can either make someone feel good about what they are doing or make them feel bad if they are not following the norm. We can threaten them with that guilt that comes from harming others. We can encourage good hygiene. A child learns how it keeps them healthy. It also stops them from being blamed for making others ill. They don’t want to be the guilty one, at fault and feel terrible for their inconsideration. Most people are rather lazy.
Most will close the book and look at something else rather than switch off all distractions and start to examine themselves by themselves. Those that do, those that do for a good while, will see the power of what is brought to them here. The spectrum and degrees of these driving forces is vast.
Copyright 2003-2023. Ignorance Paradox all rights reserved